


Hate To Admit

by chocolattees



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Exes to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, mention of shoulder injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25301884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolattees/pseuds/chocolattees
Summary: You never thought the place that caused your pain will be the place where a new start bestowed upon you.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Reader
Kudos: 9





	Hate To Admit

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second time someone requested exes to lovers au and to be honest, I’m not quite good at writing this kind of au. But, at least I tried.

“It better worth it or else.” You lowly grumbled as you let Jeongin, your little cousin, dragged you to the Olympic venue where Hyunjin and the rest of your school mates might be for the swimming competition.“It better worth it or else.” You lowly grumbled as you let Jeongin, your little cousin, dragged you to the Olympic venue where Hyunjin and the rest of your school mates might be for the swimming competition.

It’s been a long time since the last time you step your foot there, not as an audience but a participant. You kinda missed the tingling sensation you had whenever you visit the venue with your teammates. Especially when you climbed the podium as one of the winners.

It also leaves you with painful memories. The reasons you never want to step your foot near the swimming pool or Olympic venue ever again.

If it wasn’t because of Jeongin’s nagging, you might spend your day in your room with Netflix already.

The boy grinned happily pulled you to the bleachers nearest the pool, stating it had the best view of the pool. “I’m sure others must be happy to see you again.”

“But, I’m not.”

Not when you recalled the half-hearted decision you had to make to left the team. You still could remember their pained look after hearing your resignation, some of them even mad and shouted at you. You still don’t dare to meet them.

A loud cheer could be heard from the crowd as the representative team from each school entered the venue, started from the captain to the rest of the members. Your heart thud at the sight of your school representative. Right, you forgot that _he_ was the captain. 

Bang Chan stood proudly in front of your school representative team as the announcer introduced your school, followed by the rest of the team. Though he looked tough from the outside, he was actually nervous inside. This wasn’t his first competition in a big venue like this, but the burden as a captain made him scared and nervous. Not to mention he needed to set a good example for the team, which meant, not mistake.

His eyes darted from his team to the audience, politely smiled at their supporter until his eyes landed on you. You seemed to not notice his gaze as your focus was on Hyunjin, the reason for your presence in the venue and the newest member of the team. It made him scowled a little and wondered, is he your new boyfriend or something? Never thought your taste of boy had changed to someone like Hyunjin. 

During the briefing for the competition’s rules, his eyes never leave from your figure. Even when you excused yourself to buy some drink from the vending machine before the first race started. Which was in fifteen minutes.

“I think I leave my swimming goggles in the locker room. Let me go get it first,” told Chan to his coach before the run to where you just went. 

“Oh, make sure to be here before the butterfly stroke race!”

**×××**

A satisfied sigh escaped your mouth as you gulp down the cold soft drink in your hand. It made you feel a little bit better, forgetting about Chan and your old teammates for a bit. You also kinda missed the drinks from the Olympic venue, it felt different from the drinks you bought from the mini-market.

“Hm, should I buy one for Jeongin?”

“You should have asked him first before go buy your own drink.”

You freeze on the spot as you heard the familiar sound, eyes widen and hand clench the can of soft drink tightly.

“What are you doing here, Chan?”

“No ‘hello’ or ‘nice to meet you again’? That’s harsh.”

“I know catching up isn’t your purpose to meet me. Just, what are you doing here, Chan?” You repeated the question and earned a chuckled from him.

“I should be the one who asks that.” He walked closer and spin you around to face him. “What are you doing here? Why after 10 months, missing and running away from us, you’re back to the place you want to avoid so bad?”

You pushed his hand away from you, “It’s not your concern anymore. You’re no one to me and I had made it clear back then, I don’t have the passion for swimming anymore. That’s why I quit.”

“Then, let me ask you, why you asked me to broke up with you? and don’t you dare say that ‘you fall out love with me’ like old time. I- We know it was a lie, including the reason you quit swimming.”

“Look, let’s not talk about this anymore. I need to get back before Jeongin worry and miss Hyunjin’s first race.”

“Why do you care so much about him? Is he your boyfriend?” Chan gripped your hand tightly, stopping you from your attempt to run away. He didn’t want to make it sound harsh or something, but the thought of you with someone else when he still not over you made his blood boiling in jealousy. “I see the way you look over him earlier, [Name].”

Though it low, you could hear the pain in Chan’s voice. It wasn’t like you want your relationship to end just like that. You just didn’t have any choice to end it. You didn’t want him to sacrifice his dream because of you.

“Hyunjin… he isn’t my boyfriend.” You yanked your hand from him and walked away.

**×××**

Swimming was used to be your favourite sport. A sport that brought you together with him. You and Chan shared the same passion for swimming, dreaming to be a professional swimmer and compete in international competition. Days and nights were spent for practice; you never miss a single day to train yourself better. 

The second semester you joined the swimming club, you were chosen as the girl’s team captain while Chan as the boy’s team captain. And it was the best decision your coach ever made. Not only your team won many competitions, but your team’s skill also drastically improved. At the same time, Chan asked you to be his girlfriend and it became the start of your happy relationship. 

However, that happiness couldn’t last for long. You happened got into an accident on one of your daily practice and injured your shoulder badly.

‘Impingement Syndrome’, a syndrome involving tendonitis of the rotator cuff muscles. It is particularly associated with tendonitis of the supraspinatus muscle and caused a loss of movement at the shoulder. There’s no reason that this should interfere with your everyday life much at all, but, you absolutely can’t continue on as a swimmer.

You just lost your dream and since then, you started to shut yourself. You resigned from the team and quit the club without telling your friend, including Chan. You even called him that day for the last time just to broke up with him without explaining anything in detail. 

Since then, you avoid anything that related to swimming ‘cause it only remained you of Chan’s pained expression and the pain of your shoulder.

“Noona, are you okay?” Jeongin waved his hand in front of your face, snapped you out of the trance. “You’ve been quiet after back to get some drink.”

“I’m fine. Just thinking of something.” You smiled at him. “What race does Hyunjin participate again?”

“The 100-metre freestyle race.” Jeongin glanced at you for a second before asked the question. “Do you feel uncomfortable? I mean, to be here to watch your old teammates and ex-boyfriend.”

You bit your lower lip and stay silent, eyes looked at him before back to the competition ahead of you. Jeongin took your silent as a yes and sighed. You’re indeed felt uncomfortable with everything, not to mention after the unpleasant conversation with Chan. But, you still needed to try your best to not show it for Hyunjin. 

That boy didn’t need to be dragged to your problems and past, especially in his first competition.

“How long do you think you will keep the truth for Chan hyung? You know soon or later you need to tell him the truth.”

“I don’t know, Jeongin,” You breathed. “I even can’t look at him in the eyes properly.” You didn’t have any courage to tell him the truth. Even if you did talk to him, your relationship with him couldn’t be fixed anymore. The damage was beyond repair.

“At least, try to meet him. Don’t you remember how devastated he was when-”

“I had tried,” You cut him. “I did meet him at the vending machine just now and it didn’t end well. We even weren’t able to talk properly without being sarcastic to each other.”

“Let’s never talk over this topic again. The last thing I want to do in Hyunjin’s first competition is fight with you.”

On the other side, Chan back to his team with annoyance. Not only he wasn’t able to know the truth of your disappearance from the team, he also got scolded by the coach for almost miss the first race. He let out a tired sigh and sit on the bench beside Hyunjin. He eyed the boy from head to toes, frowned as he recalling your words. If Hyunjin wasn’t your boyfriend, why did you look at him with those look? The look that used to be you showed around him, your (ex)boyfriend.

Hyunjin must be noticed Chan’s gaze because the boy turned his head toward him with a confused look.

“…What’s wrong, hyung? Is there something you want to tell me?” Asked Hyunjin, clueless without the whole situation.

“Nothing. How do you know [Name]?”

“[Name]… As in [Full Name], the cousin of Yang Jeongin?” Chan nodded. “I’m friend with Jeongin and happen to be one of her neighbour. We used to practice swimming at the same pool near our house, too bad she can’t swim anymore.”

Chan abruptly paused, “What do you mean she _can’t_ swim anymore?”

“Oh, you don’t know. I’m not supposed to be the one to tell you, but she…”

**×××**

“Yah, Bang Chan, what are you doing!? Let. Me. Go!” 

You just went out from the toilet when suddenly from nowhere Chan showed up and pulled you away to more secluded place. He even didn’t give you any choices and the chance to get away. Even if you try, it will end up fail. He was way too stronger than you. 

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re hurting me!”

Chan finally stopped and turned to look at you, hand still gripping yours. 

“Then, how about me? You’re also hurting me. Inside and outside”

“What are talking about?” 

He scoffed, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I mean. Why are you hiding your injury from me?” Your eyes widen in surprise and for the first time in a while, you were able to look at Chan properly in the eyes. 

_How does he know it?_

The one who knows about your injury was your parents, the coach (which kinda impossible because he promised to not tell anyone about it), Jeongin, and… right, _Hyunjin_. That boy must have tell Chan about it.

“Why do you made me see you as a bad person? You could just tell me the truth.” Chan took a deep breath, trying his best to stay calm. But you still could see the tear on the corner of his eyes.

“Then, what? Making you step down the captain position and quit the club too?”

“Well, yeah, you’re-”

“No, Chan! This is why I don’t want to tell you about the real reason I quit the club and broke up with you. You would choose me over your dream, over your responsibility as captain. You might fine with it, but not me.” You looked down and continue. “I know you too well and you leave me with no other choice.”

“And I never regret my decisions, all of it, because look where it takes you.” You looked at Chan in pain and smiled. “That’s why, please forget about me, about us. You know we will never able to go back to how we used to be.”

You slowly yanked your hand from his grip and turned around. However, Chan once again stopped you before you were able to walk away and disappear from his sight. He couldn’t just let you just leave like that after knowing the truth.

“We can.” 

“Chan-”

“We might not able to get back to how we used to be, but we can start it over from the beginning.” He paused and looked at you. Like you just reading his thought, you sighed and asked, “And how are you gonna prove it? You know it impossible.”

“Let make a bet.” You raised your eyebrow in confusion. “If our team get the first place in the relay race, you will let me take you to a date and start everything over.”

“What if you don’t get the first place?”

“I will stop bothering you and leave you alone like how you wish.” You thought about it for a minute, seeing that you had no problem with the bet before agreed. Nothing could stop Chan when he was determined to get what he wanted.

Little did you know, that evening by the end of the relay race, you found yourself dressed in a white dress you haven’t wear for a long time with Chan waiting in the living room. The competition ended with the win of your school team in almost every races. Which meant you couldn’t run away from him even if you want to.

You still remembered how shocked Jeongin when Chan ran up to you and ask you to get yourself ready by 6 pm—more like because you just nodded casually. You also didn’t forget to scold Hyunjin for letting the secret out though you couldn’t stay mad at him. Let’s say you were lucky it was just Chan, not your the whole teammates.

A loud knock could be heard from outside your room as you check yourself for the ninth time. Placing a bright smile on your face, you're ready to greet your mom and ask some of her opinions. But instead of your mom, you were met by no other than your little cousin, head shake in disbelief.

“You’re not mom,” was the first thing you said.

“Sadly, no. I’m here just to tell you to not make Chan waiting for you too long. He looks nervous there.”

“I’m done. Let me get my purse and phone first.” 

A minute later, you finally showed yourself to the living room, expected your dad and Chan in a deep conversation. They didn’t seem to notice you until you cleared your throat and gained their attention. 

The moment his eyes landed on you, his breathing hitched. For a second he forgot how to breathe, feeling breathless just from the sight of you upon him. Even after 10 months pass, you still look beautiful as how he remembered and no one could be compared to you. Neither of you opened your mouth to said anything; eyes looking each other with the familiar fondness. 

“Remember, be back before 10.” With that, you were left with Chan, alone.

“Shall we go now?”

“Yeah.”

Things were still a little awkward for Chan and you, but despite that, you’ve tried to start everything over from the beginning since Chan won the bet fair and square. There were still moments where you get yourself into an uncomfortable and suffocating silence, when you didn’t what to say or how to react, just like now.

“I heard you scolded Hyunjin right after the competition,” Chan said, eyes shining under the passing streetlight.

“But, I did congratulate him afterwards.” 

Chan chuckled at the thought before asked you about what are you currently do outside the school. He was curious about you since he used to know how you love swimming and always spent your days to practice. You happily told him about your new routine, how you took interest in art lately, and your plan to enrolled in one of the best universities that are known for their art. 

Not a moment later, Chan sling his arm around your shoulder and pulled you a little bit closer to him. Smiling at the gesture, you just let him do what he wanted and walked to the dog cafe you’ve been going before. You two spent your time playing with some dogs and getting some snack on the way home. You never felt this happy after the got injured.

Right before you reached your house, Chan took you to the park where you spent your childhood together with him. You tried not to keep your mind on the fact that as you walked, Chan’s hand was wrapped tightly around yours. It made your heart raced so fast like how you got your first and last crush in high school.

“By the way, thanks for letting me take you on a date this late knowing how strict your father can be,” Chan said, smiling widely as he swings your hand a little.

“Well, I lose the bet. Even if I want to run away, the guilt will probably eat me alive. Just like before.” You could feel Chan staring down at you, tightened the grip on your hand, scared of losing you the second time. “Anyway, thanks for today.”

Chan abruptly stopped, pulling you to his side in the process. He placed one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck, slowly pulling you closer until nose touched each other and surprised you with the close proximity. His eyes flickered back down to your lips as your face getting closer.

“I’m sorry, but seems like I can’t hold myself any longer,” He whispered almost desperately. “Push me away.”

But, you didn’t. You just let him leaned closer and then, you felt his lips on yours. There was a mixed feeling inside you: fear, excitement, but one thing for sure it felt like a daydream. It even felt more real when he deepens it. They’re soft, light, and of course, made your heart soar in happiness. You let yourself drown in the feeling, the best feeling you ever felt with your lips and you put your hands around his neck. You're glad it was Chan’s.

Maybe letting Jeongin to dragged you out to the Olympic venue wasn’t a bad idea like you thought. Who thought it will be the place where a new start bestowed upon you.


End file.
